Not a Disease. Still Real. Still Hard. Still Human.
Why Exis Recovery Recommends “The Biology of Desire” by Dr. Marc Lewis
At Exis Recovery, we work with people every day who are navigating the complicated, painful, often misunderstood terrain of addiction. We hear the stories, the self-blame, the exhaustion of trying to “get it right.” And too often, we see the impact of one limiting narrative: the belief that addiction is a disease you’re stuck with for life.
We don’t believe that.
We don’t believe that people in pain are broken.
We don’t believe addiction is a life sentence.
And we don’t believe the only path forward is through lifelong identity as someone who is sick.
We believe what Dr. Marc Lewis believes—and he says it plainly in the title of his book: The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease.
This is a book we return to often, not just because it challenges the dominant view, but because it offers something sorely needed: a humanizing, neuroscience-informed perspective that centers growth, possibility, and self-understanding.
What if addiction isn’t a diagnosis, but a learned response?
According to Lewis, addiction isn’t a disease you inherit or catch. It’s a deeply embedded behavioral pattern—one your brain learns over time, often in response to trauma, stress, loneliness, or emotional overwhelm. It is the brain doing its best to soothe, to regulate, to survive—even if the outcome is self-destructive.
But here’s the part we don’t hear enough: if addiction is learned, it can be unlearned.
And that is why we take this stance. Because neuroscience confirms what we see every day at Exis—people are capable of real, lasting change when they’re supported by structure, community, purpose, and self-awareness. These aren’t soft ideas. They are the building blocks of recovery.
What this means for our work:
This isn’t just a philosophy we admire—it shapes how we show up. It shapes how we build treatment plans, how we listen to clients, and how we walk with them through the hardest parts of transformation.
The disease model has helped many people feel less ashamed, and we honor that. But we also see where it limits. It can quietly tell people they are damaged goods. That relapse is inevitable. That their best hope is containment, not liberation.
We believe something else.
We believe in healing that doesn’t label, pathologize, or diminish.
We believe in therapy that honors how the brain works and what the heart needs.
We believe that recovery is about reclaiming—not erasing—your story.
The Quiet Power of Self-Acceptance: Rethinking Self-Esteem in Recovery
In many recovery journeys, self-esteem is often treated as a long-term goal, something to be earned after progress is made or symptoms improve. But what if self-esteem, and more specifically self-acceptance, isn’t a result of healing, but one of its most essential entry points?
In How to Raise Your Self-Esteem: The Proven Action-Oriented Approach to Greater Self-Respect and Self-Confidence, psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden reframes self-esteem as something that can be built through deliberate, everyday actions, grounded not in ego or achievement, but in honest self-recognition.
At Exis Recovery, we see this concept reflected in the lived experience of our clients. Many arrive believing that in order to begin healing, they must first “fix” what’s wrong. Branden’s work offers a gentle, yet radical, counterpoint: lasting change begins when we stop resisting who we are and start accepting what’s already present.
Acceptance Is Not Complacency
Branden defines self-esteem as the reputation we build with ourselves. It’s not rooted in external validation or inflated self-image, but in our ability to meet life with integrity and compassion, especially when things feel difficult.
Importantly, self-acceptance is not the same as resignation. Rather than letting go of the desire for growth, acceptance creates the internal safety required to grow without self-rejection. It teaches us that we can hold pain, fear, or regret, and still treat ourselves with care.
A Practice Ground for Change
One of the most approachable aspects of Branden’s work is his use of daily practices, such as the mirror exercise, which invites individuals to look at themselves and say, “I accept myself completely.” This seemingly simple gesture becomes powerful when repeated over time, especially when used alongside breath and somatic awareness.
In clinical settings, we see how this kind of repetition, rooted in both language and physical presence, can disrupt long-standing cycles of shame and reinforce an individual’s capacity for reflection without judgment.
Application in Recovery Work
Clients in early recovery often experience internal conflict: they may be learning new behaviors while still feeling haunted by old narratives. Branden’s approach offers something grounding. Self-acceptance becomes the bridge between who someone has been and who they are becoming. It holds the complexity without demanding resolution all at once.
From a clinical perspective, this aligns with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), where acceptance of internal experience is the first step toward values-based action. In this way, Branden’s book functions not just as a self-help guide, but as a complementary therapeutic tool.
